Portlandia

Portlandia

Portlandia "One Moore Episode"

IFC's series Portlandia returns in January with an homage to Battlestar Galactica.

I think we can all relate to this:



The second season of “Portlandia” kicks off on January 6th at 10 p.m. ET on IFC.

The Future, According to Rob Kutner

Rob Kutner is sort of like Ray Kurtzweil on crack. Kutner is a writer for TBS’ Conan and the author of the satirical end-of-times bestseller Apocalypse How: Turn the End Times into the Best of Times! He has also written for The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, won four Emmies writing for “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart”, and contributed to its bestseller, America (The Book). Other writing includes HBO’s “Dennis Miller Live,” as well as humor and feature pieces for the Washington Post, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Esquire, and Maxim.

His new book, The Future According to Me, a collection of 35 short comic scenarios of what our future might look like -- touching on everything from nanotechnology to existentially self-aware Smart Toilets to the upcoming Chocolate Famine.

The breezy book is full of great humor and wry comic observations that any sci-fi geek would greatly enjoy geeking out on.

In Rob Kutner’s future, peace will be achieved in the middle east thanks to quantum physics. You can live forever, as long as you can deal with baby boomers who keep hanging on. You will prepare for the invasion of the Xoxians. Learn how to eat artificial lab grown meat, before the meat gets uppity. Watch out as nanotechnology grey goo takes over, in unexpected ways. All in all the future is so bright, you have to read this book.

Get it at Amazon.com for the amazing low price of 99 cents. (You don’t need a Kindle to read Kindle books, just download the Kindle app for your Mac, iPad, iPhone, PC, or other device.)

Read a few excerpts from the book here and here and here.

And check out this review from the Princeton Alumni Weekly.

And in our Sitrep archives, be sure to read my colleague ProgGrrl's Battlestar Galactica discussion with Rob Kutner and John Hodgman from 2009.

Life Day Approaches

The 1982 Tron Holiday Special from Rip Taylor

With Beatrice Arthur!

Facts

Fanvid: Battlestar Rhapsody

Another great one from nnaylime. Music by Luke Ski.

Go Team Edward

Following up on the post below, you can now order your official Edward t-shirt from HijiNKS Ensue.

I think I know what I'm getting myself for Christmas.

Oh My Edward

Heheh, the first one to make this into a real tee shirt is gonna make some mad nerd fanboy cash. LOL.

Comic by Hijinks Ensue.

Katee Sackhoff on THE BIG BANG THEORY

Video via Big Bang Theory YT Channel.

May The Toast Be With You, Frakkers

As we round the corner into the last few weeks before this year's San Diego Comic Con (which I will be covering on Twitter and at FanGrrl Magnet if you are interested), Wired announced something hilarious. Apparently the STAR WARS folks figured out a great new merch item for SDCC this year... and it looks vaguely familiar...



Says Wired:
It’ll be a surprise to precisely no one that Lucasfilm leads the vanguard of Comic-Con must-have gimmicks and gadgets. The marketing machine that put the action in action figures will introduce the Star Wars toaster at this year’s convention. The device turns every piece of toast over to the dark side — burning an image of everyone’s favorite Dark Lord of the Sith onto your Wonder-bread. Where else will you get a chance to smudge jam into Darth Vader’s grill?

Umm...the vanguard? LOL. Well, you know what they say about plagiarism, don't you. ;-)

Meanwhile, SciFi SyFy and NBC have announced that there are six special SDCC 09 swag items going on sale at the NBCU store, including a yet-to-be-announced CAPRICA item, this hilarious OFFICE Schrute Farms watch, a great CHUCK polo shirt...and a new BATTLESTAR GALACTICA Frakkin Toaster with LED. See the demo vid below:

Keep an eye on NBCU's store blog and twitter feed for news of the SDCC item sale which begins soon.

Spoiler Policy

via College Humor

Oddly Funny

Former BSG co-exec producer Mark Verheiden says of these YouTube videos:

I'm not quite sure why these are being done, but they are oddly compelling...

I think I agree with him. I rather like this one the most:


Here are the full playlists by HighlandsTechno.

"Ron" discusses reactions to the finale:


"Ron" and "Dave" develop a new show about killer robots in space:

Colonial One Over NYC

BSG FX artist Mojo makes the point that the military could use CGI for all their photo-op needs:

If you wanted pictures of Air Force One and some F16s flying over NY, why not just pick up the phone and call Hollywood? I hear the governor has a few ties with people who make special effects movies. I’m sure they would have helped you out. When most people want images of something impossible, or just too expensive to do for real, they turn to the magic of visual effects. You guys didn’t think a movie like Independence Day used real UFOs, did you?

...Especially now, with computers, you can do FX really cheap! That’s right, the same computers you use to erase people’s identities and put your old math teacher on the no-fly list can be used to create UFOs and airplanes and anything else you can dream up. In fact, I used one to create this picture:

And guess what? I whipped that image up in just about an hour. See? I bet for less than the cost of the fuel you spent on that little stunt yesterday I could have computer-generated all the pictures you needed - all without a single Hail Mary or evacuated building. Hell, for a few extra bucks I would have even thrown in some HD video.

BSG mention on...30 ROCK?

WOW. BSG mentioned on 30 ROCK. That's a nice surprise. Now if we can also get a Tina Fey or Katee Sackhoff cameo on either MAD MEN or TRUE BLOOD this year, all will be right with my pop culture world...

Uh, Fridays

philwan deals with the lack of BSG on Fridays from now on...

I Know How He Feels.

Obama Depressed, Distant Since 'Battlestar Galactica' Series Finale

Obama told aides he feels "like a cylon without a Resurrection Ship."

WASHINGTON—According to sources in the White House, President Barack Obama has been uncharacteristically distant and withdrawn ever since last month's two-hour series finale of Battlestar Galactica.

"The president seems to be someplace else lately," said one high-level official, speaking on condition of anonymity. "Yesterday we were all being briefed on the encroachment of Iranian drone planes into Iraq, when he just looked up from the table and blurted out, 'What am I supposed to watch on Fridays at 10 p.m. now? Numb3rs?'"

"I haven't seen him this upset since Admiral Adama realized that Earth was actually an uninhabitable wasteland," the official continued. "Or at least that's what he told me. I don't actually watch the show. It's not really my thing."

Obama attempts to console himself with leaked production stills from the upcoming spin-off Caprica.

Since the end of the series, Obama has reportedly brushed off key budgetary decisions, ignored his wife and children, and neglected his daily workouts, claiming that he no longer cares if he lets himself go "just like Lee did before the rescue on New Caprica."

In addition, sources confirmed that instead of meeting with Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner on Monday, the depressed president sat alone in the Oval Office, scouring Internet message boards for posts by other fans about the series conclusion.

Hoping to cheer himself up, Obama also decided to re-watch the extended director's cut of "Unfinished Business," a season three episode he once described as "bringing the Starbuck-Apollo relationship to a head in the best possible way."

Revisiting the series, however, has only made the president more miserable. After a staffer suggested he bring DVDs of the show along on a recent policy trip to Denver, Obama reportedly muttered under his breath, "What's the point? It's over."

"We were going over his schedule when he sighed and asked if I watched Battlestar," said a White House secretary, whom Obama used to playfully call "Billy." "I told him I was planning on it because my sister's a big fan, but he just stared out the window the whole time."

"I also noticed he took down his Battlestar Galactica season 4.5 poster," she added.


[...read the rest of the piece over at The Onion.]

Endings

Shaun Clayton of Topless Robot for Denver Westword imagines some 20 hilarious possible endings of BSG. There's no spoilers, just wild, surreal speculation. Here are few of my favorites from the list:

4) The ship runs out of booze. Adama and Tigh, seeing rainbow-colored bugs everywhere thanks to the D.T.s, go on a shooting spree and murder everyone onboard the Galactica.

3) The last episode features Ronald D. Moore appearing on camera. He says, "Well, we've all had a good run, haven't we? Let us just not end the series at all, and just hold this good feeling in our hearts forever." Ronald D. Moore then just stares at the camera for three hours.

2) There is an amazing, well written ending to the show that ties many discreet plot elements together that nobody expects, but the Sci-Fi Channel refuses to broadcast it until 2015. In the meantime, there are seventeen different Galactica-related spinoffs to watch, all of them terrible.

Enjoy the full list of 20 endings here.

You think YOU hate hiatus...

The timing is off for posting this vid...but it's so frakkin funny I can't help myself. If loving this is wrong, I don't wanna be right.


Downfall Mashup: Hitler's BSG Breakdown (Spoilers), by slumbering




[This gets even funnier if you also read this. This has always been another personal favorite. HT for vid to Mark Verheiden.]

Two Fans...And A Hybrid?

I was emailing back and forth the other day with fellow BATTLESTAR GALACTICA fan Rob Kutner…and things got a bit dense, BSG-fandom-wise. We geeked all over the place, called in An Expert (his DAILY SHOW cohort John Hodgman), and then I even quizzed Rob a bit about his day job. Wasn't it nice of them to let me publish our chat. Enjoy.

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ProgGrrl: Hey RK, what's up. Happy new year. We haven't talked in a while…how's it going these days with our chances of apocalypse? Still looking good?

I've been having some serious geekalicious happy lately, watching the new BATTLESTAR season 4.5 promos, the webisodes…and today even a cool new clip of the way-before-the-apocalypse CAPRICA series. Great stuff to tide us over till our own apocalypse hits. We BSG fans…we KNOW apocalypse.


Rob Kutner: Come on ProgGrrl, war in the Middle East? A smart Black man elected President? How could anyone interpret either of those as signs of the End Times? At the very least, that means there must still be five to go. Actually, I'm tremendously enjoying the leadup to season 4.5. Right now, the whole show is sandwiched between two apocalypses -- like the meat in an Armageddonwich. Which, if you made it out of human-cylon hybrid flesh, would be guaranteed not to give you cancer!

But yes, I'm full of questions. Like, which gender – or species – Gaeta is going to smooch next? Where on Earth is Tigh going to find an ambrosia still? And what exactly is it that – in the trailers – Kara freaks out upon seeing? I'm guessing it's the smoldering remains of a Starbucks. Talk about "There are many copies…"


PG: Mmmm, Armageddonwich.

Have you been checking out those mindbender clues over on www.YouWillKnowTheTruth.com? If you play this one backwards, it may reveal that the walrus was Adama. As for Gaeta...who knew about his thing for architecture? All that, and such a fine singing voice.

So I suppose an Armageddonologist like yourself must have enjoyed the final scene of "Revelations," the last episode from 4.0, when the rag tag fleet makes it to Earth..."Earth?"..."Earth!" (we fans aren't quite sure). What was your reaction?


RK: Gaeta truly is a Renaissance man. I bet he could talk your ear off about fine Leonis Estates wines. And a lotta good stuff in those teases. For instance, who knew that Adama actually washes his face? I half-expected all the crags to fall off and him to be the smooth-skinned Adama from Razor. Baltar seems to play a key role in the events to come -- meaning he's going to continue getting laid like a madman. Also, from the looks of it, there's a human-cylon hybrid baby born with a case of heartburn so bad, you can see it from the outside.

As far as the end of "Revelations," wow. It takes a special kind of armageddon to turn everything that precise shade of brown. Sort of Ron &co's way of saying, "Earth? You ain't found shit." And after seeing Earth, you have to imagine the humans and "good" cylons are pining for the verdant lushness of New Caprica or even Old Caprica. Speaking of which, I assume they wouldn't just hightail it back there because Sharon and the 1s, 4s, and 5s (great name for a band, btw) would find them there? It's a pity, because I love its oddly 50s-style cars. Do those come equipped with FTL drives? How cool would the new "Caprica" series be if characters were saying, "Hey baby, wanna jump with me to the drive-in?"


PG: That’s not all they’re jumping on Caprica, from the looks of this.


RK: Yowza. Based on that clip, you get the feeling if the Cylons hadn't done Caprica in, Holo-chlamydia would have.


PG: Who is your favorite character on the show? Or do you have more than one?


RK: My favorite characters... I would say Roslin, the Old Man, I kind of dig Cavil in a strange way, and I'm endlessly amused by the Hybrid. Talk about a multi-tasker! ("...shall spell the doom of all mankind 'ere his first blossoming... oil low - check engine soon")


PG: Who do you love more: funny, clever scientist Gaius, who is always hanging with cylons and getting laid…or Christ-like, suffering, guilty preacher Gaius who is being either tortured, imprisoned, or getting laid?


RK: As much as I enjoy seeing Gaius get the frak beaten out of him, I do enjoy him more when he's talking fast to save his own skin - I particularly enjoyed him in "Torn" way-too-easily blurting out how to get to Earth to the Cylons, and trying to talk his torturer D'Anna into reconciling science and faith -- while simultaneously having projected-sex with #6. No wonder he can go head to head with the Hybrid!


PG: Let’s talk burning questions. I have some, our readers certainly have even more… What are the things that keep you awake at night about this show? I come up with new questions every few days. Right now I want to know if Gaeta will begin randomly slaughtering Number Eights whenever he sees one around the ship… if Adama’s going to punch that dude who spray-painted FRAK EARTH on his wall... if Tigh will decide he wants to settle down and raise a family with Six…if Kara will ever find out why The Hybrid was throwing all those big words at her, like “harbinger,” and stuff.


RK: So, my questions: I, too, wonder whose ass Gaeta will claim next - let's not forget Sam "the leg-shooting toaster" is also on the list. If Tigh and Six do settle down on Earth, how will he be able to grow a lawn that he can yell at kids to get off of? Will Bill Adama ever be able to settle down even anywhere on land, or will he be forced to grow another "orbit patrol 'stache?"

As far as outstanding series questions (ie: Truth I Hope Will Be Known): Who/what saved Starbuck and sent her to Earth and back with coordinates and shmancy new Raptor? How could a skinjob like Tigh have been created so long ago, and with such an alcohol problem? How did the birth of cylon-human Hera spark such mystical awareness among both Roslin and D'Anna, yet his fellow cy-man (or is it "hum-lon") Nicky did not? Why were the Five separated, how is it they've "seen the way to earth" yet the lone models we know have no clue where it is, and why are they suddenly switched on now? And how did young Bill Adama in Razor come upon the original Cylon prototypes and Raiders, yet not one Daggit? (Sorry, new-BSG purists.)


PG: Good stuff, big questions...we're both pretty stumped here. My head is spinning. What we really need is...an expert.

What about your friend John Hodgman? I bet he could help us. I know he's incredibly frakkin busy with non stop book tours, Daily Show appearances, Mac ad shoots, and twittering...but...there's just *so many questions*, my gods.

[It takes a bit of time to adjust the signal here… Rob waits… I wait… then, suddenly, we received the following.]

THIS IS HODGMAN ACTUAL

Hello friends. I am writing to you from the fabled lost colony of Park Slope, where I have been catching up on all the Gaeta-sodes, and it was a marvelous experience. I got to watch the movie "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans" ten times! (At least, I presume it was the whole movie. There can't be much more to it than that, can there?)

As an added bonus, I got to enjoy the BSG material itself, which as you know was co-written by Kevin Seamus Fahey and the very lovely, generous super-genius Jane Espenson. As you may also know, it was Jane who gave me something to say on my very fleeting appearance on one of those last 10 episodes. (Do not ask me about it. I would not say a word to spoil it, and I am hardly sure I will end up in the finished product anyway).

But it leaves me in a strange position. Through the palimpsest of partial scripts, I have glimpsed at least some of the answers to some of my biggest burning questions. But these answers lead only to more questions, which also burn. And so, like you, I am equally looking forward to the cooling answer-poultice of the new episodes.

Until then, I will recline, hybrid like, speaking cryptically, knowing more than I can say, but traveling with you, and bathed in glowing slime.

But I can ask these questions:

1. WHEN DID THEY DECIDE TO TURN UP THE LIGHTS IN THE CIC? Did someone just discover the dimmer switch finally? A cache of old fluorescents they forgot about?

2. WHY DID GAETA PUT A BOOT ON THE END OF HIS PEG LEG? I'm sure it aids his getting around, but it is hardly as stylish as plain old pirate gear (as Tigh figured out some time ago). And I really think it increases the chance of him tripping every time he walks through a pyramid door.

3. IF THE GAETASODES DO OCCUR AFTER THE DISCOVERY OF EARTH, where is Earth now? If they are still doing long jumps all over space to evade hostile cylons, does that mean they have abandoned earth already?

As for my favorite characters, I agree with Espenson's assessment in her commentary for Gaetasode 10. Michael does more acting with his one visible eye than a lot of people do with their whole body. Like Gaeta, Boomer8thena, Tyrol, and Cottle, these are all really amazing Canadian actors whom I probably never would have seen were it not for this show.

Another reason I am grateful almost everyone on Caprica died.

For now, THAT IS ALL


PG: Hmm…I always suspected Hodgman might be a Hybrid. Ain't it always the trouble when chatting up a Hybrid: cryptic statements, full of promise, and most of your questions remain unanswered.

So we shall have to wait and see if, where, and when Mr. Hodgman appears on BSG. Meanwhile I see he has already gone back to twittering...like you said: those Hybrids sure can multi-task.


RK: First off, I want to echo what John said about how - in addition to being a great yarn - the Webisodes gave us 10 exciting glimpses at "Underworld." As it happens, I'd been wondering what we could be, instead of being slaves. I now know the answer: "LYCANS!!!!"


PG: You know Rob, seeing as you are a writer on another one of my favorite shows, THE DAILY SHOW, I can't resist asking: are there any other TDS staffers who are BSG fans? We've heard that BSG is loved by the entire Late Night With Letterman writers' room. This summer I was waiting for you guys to make the McCain/Palin -- Tigh/Roslin connection…but no dice.


RK: I took a poll, and about half of us are into it. The rest are clearly lesser-evolved Centurions. But I resist that political analogy – even Laura Roslin knows way much more about 21st Century U.S. foreign policy than Palin.


PG: There've been a few passing mentions on THE DAILY SHOW this year of BSG…is Jon Stewart in on this? Stewart has always had a bit of geek cred. Not as much as Stephen Colbert, but not bad.


RK: Jon doesn’t watch it, but he has this eerie all-knowing sense of what’s in the ether. However, there have been legions of BSG pitches that never made air. For example, that Rod Blagojevich’s censored wiretapping remarks were actually him repeatedly saying “FRAK” – bleeped out because CNN doesn’t want to get into copyright violation territory. We tried to get Jon to ask Education Secretary Margaret Spellings if she hoped for a global nuclear holocaust so she could become President. When Biden was making those ominous remarks near the end of the campaign about how an Obama administration would get “hit within six months,” I worked with Jane Espenson to find suitably disturbing Hybrid clips to intercut with that.


PG: When are Katee Sackhoff or Tricia Helfer gonna guest on the show? I'm amazed Helfer hasn't been on yet…can you possibly make a case to your producers on behalf of BSG/TDS crossover fans everywhere?


RK: You know our show – they’d have to first write a book about Iraq. Actually, my strong preference would be Grace Park. Shouldn’t be that hard to book – there’s like a hundred of her, right?


PG: Well Rob…and John (wherever you are)…thanks so much for taking time away from Apocalypse Research, Generally Being an Expert, and skewering the body politic with the DAILY SHOW crew to talk Galactica with me. It's always a pleasure talking BSG with other addicts.

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Rob Kutner is an Emmy-award-winning writer for “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” and lots of other things. His book “Apocalypse How” is available. Right now. You should buy it. He twitters too.

John Hodgman is currently a Famous Minor Television Personality, the Resident Expert on “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,” and the author of “More Information Than You Require” and “Areas of My Expertise.” We BSG fans might recall that he wrote this, back in the day. You can also read a bit more from him about BSG here.

Whoopi <3 BSG

Go in to minute 4...



(Thanks to reader Bonney for the above.)


And, for the gazillion friends and readers who sent this link to me in the past 24 hours: check out BATTLESTAR FACEBOOK. Hilarious.  The LA Times tracked down the fan who made this and interviewed her.  "It's Complicated."