We interrupt our regularly scheduled posting...

The Sitrep has a guest poster today: Rob Kutner, who is a writer for THE DAILY SHOW and has a great new book out called APOCALYPSE HOW ("a guide to turning the end of times into the best of times"). We asked Rob to give us his top 5 tips for our ragtag fleet, and here’s what we got:


Five things the Human Survivors on BATTLESTAR GALACTICA could have learned from APOCALYPSE HOW:

1) Recreation - Seriously, how long can you play Triad? My book offers a plethora of endtime entertainments, from “Armageddonopoly” to the musical selections of the Boomboard 25 (Ex: “We Gotta Get Out of this Place…Okay, Now This One”)...

2) Politics – Two words we should have never heard: “President Zarek.” The Colonies are still fixated on “planet-bound” notions of democracy, when instead they should be more open to alternatives, for example “Femmocracy.” I mean, we all know Roslin, Number Six, and Sharon totally own us anyway.

3) Intoxication – Tigh’s secret caches of Ambrosia are only going to last so long, and does anyone really want to take a chance on knuckle-dragger-brewed moonshine? Consider my non-resource-depleting methods like “Upside-Down Hanging” (the only way bats can deal with the stress of the night shift) and “Bloodletting” (the reason Medieval folks’ lives were so much “trippier” than ours).

4) Family – All those melodramatic speeches and counter-speeches between the Adamas? Waste of precious oxygen. As I show you in the book, in a reduced human population, you finally can choose your family.

5) Escape – As we’ve seen, you can only escape the Cylon Armada for so long. So you’ve got to work harder at setting traps for them. Their biggest weakness is that they think they believe in something higher but can’t in actuality, so the solution is obvious: Distract them with offers to become network TV executives.


Thanks Rob, great advice...and thanks for those instructional videos on keeping fit and staying gainfully employed after The End Times. Perhaps some of the humans on Earth could use this book too...